I over did it a bit yesterday in my enthusiasm. It’s so hard to tell when you’re doing too much when you’re more or less weightless. I was a little sore last night, but I’ve been worse.

Today, being a no class day, I was on my own. Was in the pool by 10 a.m. and got out around 11:45. Same as yesterday, a good thirty minutes in the deep pool to really warm up. A good thirty minutes in the lap pool doing the best I can. The rest of the time back in the deep pool just moving, stretching, and floating.

There are days, because school is in and there are no little kids at the pool, where I am the only one in the deep pool (the diving pool). I can’t imagine what those poor young lifeguards think of me moving, stretching, floating, moving like an otter, a whale. But hey, I’m far from the oldest or fattest person to use the pool.

I did have my Greek honey vanilla yogurt this morning with vanilla granola on top, and I’ll be honest with you, it’s too sweet. Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE sweet. I’m drinking a cup of coffee right now with two heaping teaspoons of sugar in it, but I guess I don’t like it for breakie.

I didn’t get home until around 2 p.m. today and was naturally starving. I took a couple of minutes to make avocado toast and when I sat down and took the first bite, I thought it was perhaps the best thing I ever ate. Then I promptly ran to the toilet to explode from the other end which I do sometimes.

Oh, and I sprinkled some golden flax seed on it just because and I think that made it better as well.

I stopped at the Goodwill to look for some Croc type shoes, something to do some yard work for my parents, and finally found a pair today. Rubber rain shoes that probably cost a lot initially and now cost me $6.29 with my over 55 discount.

After I was recovered from my duties in the bathroom, I asked my dad where the rake was and he found it for me. I’m sure he absolutely hates me doing his raking, but he simply can’t do it. He has COPD. He has worked hard all his life and in fact, at 78 just retired last year from his second career, but his raking days are long gone now.

Can’t talk much about that. It’s too upsetting.

Raking is fucking hard. Sorry to curse, but it’s that hard for me. I try to alternate my raking position but it keeps coming back to my strongest side. The side that will be very sore tonight and tomorrow. Plus I now have a blister on my thumb.

If I could have I would have stayed out longer and done more tidying up, but all I could do was get 90% of the leaves up and into the refuse can.

My husband is behaving in such an odd, cold way to me that it almost feels as though he died and this other person took his place. The man I knew would NEVER treat me as I am being treated now.

But I just do my best to shake it off and think about health and fitness because collapsing is not an option any longer. Taking care of myself is the ONLY option now.

I’m a lucky person, really. I have a car. I am warm, dry, fed. I work out at a lovely facility six days a week. I should never complain. I complain mostly when I start to compare myself to other people and what I “should” have at this point in my life.

Yeah, I should have a house. I have had houses, a few of them over the years, I just sold a crappy condo about six months ago, after the fees and loans were paid off they sent me a check for $800. Yeah.

I wake up early, but I sit around having breakfast and reading news on my iPad. I don’t rush to get to the pool because A.) it’s more crowded early in the day, and B.) I don’t have much else to do so why go early?

Because I don’t want to sit on my ass for hours and hours after swimming I bought one of those exercise balls you can sit on. I sit on it and channel surf. During commercials I might bounce around in interesting ways. I figure it’s slightly better than no movement at all.

The main reason I am so fat now is that I spent the last seven years sitting at a computer. Sitting is bad for you! It makes your stomach really big. And your butt. I’m fat all over, but really have a gut.

In the pool when I move in certain ways I can feel pain from my gallstones. I had an ultra sound several months ago to determine what that pain was from and was told it was gallstones. I doubt they’re going anywhere on their own. In fact I’ve read in several places that you should not lose weight too fast when you have gallstones because something will happen. A gallstone attack, I guess.

I hope it doesn’t happen. I’d like to keep all the organs I have left. I just keep hoping that my body will be the exception and that somehow I’ll pass them because if I do have an attack, they’ll remove the whole gallbladder. Evidently they used to just remove the stones, but found they came back really quickly, probably because they are just sitting there in the liver, which is where they are made (I think).

Overall I’m happy enough with today. A good workout in the pool and then a small workout in the yard. Doing laundry now. Will make a big salad later and eat that along with a little bit of my mom’s spaghetti.


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