Weight Loss, Weighing, and Food

You can only have a general idea of how weight loss happens and then hold on for the ride. There are so many variables, things which can cause your weight to appear up when it’s not up and in my case of a weird scale, down when you’re not down.

All over the internet I read that a “safe” amount of weight to lose each week is only 1 to 2 pounds. Then why do they expect The Biggest Loser people to often lose more than five? Because they’re bigger than I am? They work out harder than I do? Maybe.

Most people have a sort of ritual when they weigh, often once a week, in the a.m., possibly naked, and definitely with an empty stomach and bladder. So what if you’re bowels are full? Does poop weigh much? If I drink 8 ounces of water before I weigh, does it show me a half a pound heavier? Well, duh, I guess it would.

Then there’s the issue of food and whether to count calories or not. How close can you really get? Does half of my medium avocado have more calories than yours? What are the calories for a slice of sourdough bread when it comes in a round loaf and has all different sizes?

I have to get it through my head that my weight loss will take about a year, and then a lifetime of effort to keep it off. I hope that in around six months I’ll begin to feel a little more “average sized” and that my weight might not be the first thing someone notices when they meet me.

The highest I weighed, a bit over two months ago was 267 and apparently,  as of this a.m. I weigh 239. That’s a 28 pound weight loss in roughly 9 weeks. That averages out to 3.1 pounds a week. It’s understandable that my weight loss would have been greater then. I probably had a lot of extra water weight, and I had a couple brief hospital stays where I ate very little, plus the unbelievable stress of a marriage falling apart and an emotional breakdown.

The real work starts right now. I’m calmer. I’m in a routine. I’m getting sleep. I’m facing real world temptations.

I just can’t figure out how to get “excited” about a one or two pound weight loss when I’m putting in such a huge effort. I mean, huge. Working out at least 90 minutes a day and eating as smart and light as I can. This is why, as I said yesterday, I need a distraction because I’m spending far too much time just watching the clock and the scale.

Don’t forget that it’s almost Christmas and I am missing out on the family fudge, or my favorite soy egg nog, and all the delectables the stores are full of right now.

I suppose some people would be happy simply to NOT gain at this time of year, let alone lose. But I want to lose.

I was such a snacker. I didn’t feel much like eating early in the day, but from about 5 p.m. on I was unstoppable and felt like I could not get full. I’d eat almost until bedtime, which was late.

These days I’m trying to recognize what it feels like to be full enough. If I’m unsure if I feel full, I drink a bunch of water to help it expand.

From time to time I still eat things that would be off limits to proper dieters, such as tacos or pizza. I will not give those up. I just eat much less. I have two heaping teaspoons of sugar with fake cream in my coffee each day. I don’t want coffee any other way. But I only have one cup a day.

My clothes are very roomy and my belt has gone in two hefty notches but I notice my weight loss and better fitness in other ways, too.

When I drive I have more flexibility to twist and look over my shoulder. I can race all over the grocery store and not feel the least bit tired. I take longer strides. I feel taller. I have energy.

Bottom line is I am just not sure how often to weigh. I don’t want to get discouraged, but I do need to know that I’m on track. Of course having my clothes get too big would let me know, right?

Besides, I should want to lose weight slower simply because it’s healthier for the body I hope to end up with. If I do not eat enough, I won’t retain or gain muscle, something I want. I’ll be too tired to get a good workout.

For now, because I don’t know what else to do, I will continue to weigh once a week, on Sundays, my day off from working out.

My psychiatric nurse practitioner told me that we simply want to see a general downward trend but that’s easy for him to say! He’s not trying to be reborn!

Christmas is almost here which means it’s almost gone. After the first of the year I’ll be taking on at least one other class and I’m so looking forward to that.

My workout was great today, as always. I did spend 45 minutes of it in the lap pool and I tried to keep moving the entire time, but I am dismayed that I can’t do three laps in a row doing the front crawl. I can only do two. I’m simply too tired at the end of two to consider starting another lap.

I need to:

a. Cut myself some slack

b. Keep doing my best

c. Find distractions


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