Good workout today. I paid attention and learned more about my routine. I spent 15 minutes in the deep pool warming up and realized I was eager to get into the lap pool because the cross country ski moves I make in the deep pool are difficult. The body naturally wants to change to something easier. I should not underestimate my time in the deep pool. It counts.
It was difficult to really warm up today, that is, to be in a zone of sorts. I did laps for more than 3o minutes before I realized it was getting easier, not harder and I was going at a pace I could maintain. A lovely feeling.
I had a sort of set, if you will, of 6 laps of freestyle, two of breast stroke, two side stroke, two kick board, and then back to freestyle. But what I noticed after a few sets is that I do better with 12 laps of freestyle, so I adjusted accordingly. The first four laps I want to stop and by the 5th lap I am getting the rhythm, so no reason to stop at six.
When I went back to the deep pool for 20 minutes I really focussed on ab work. If I can get my waist down, I will be a proper size 18, I think. I read somewhere that the kick of the butterfly stoke is the best kick for the abdomen, so I began to make that movement in the water (except I’m more or less straight up and down) and was making progress on a new exercise to add to my repetoire. I ended up pulling something in the back of my knee so I toned it down a bit. I think I can turn that movement into an effective exercise.
Most people know women are more buoyant due to their fat content and fat people obviously even more so. I read that a thin person works harder to stay afloat than a fat person, which is one reason why taking to the pool is a great exercise to undertake if you haven’t been doing anything for a while. It makes sense to assume that the more weight I lose (which I hope is mostly fat) the harder my workout will become and I will burn more calories. I don’t know if that’s true or not. It doesn’t really matter. Swimming is what I have chosen to be my primary exercise and I don’t plan to change that as I lose weight.
I have always been really buoyant even when I wasn’t overweight. I always attributed that to the fact that I was so comfortable in the water!
Yesterday, while reading the people I follow on Twitter, I came across an app that helps people “ease into 5k.” I read about it and downloaded the app because I know that running/walking would take my weight loss and fitness to the next level. But I also need to be realistic. I have a bum knee and plantar faciitis in one foot. I am probably not running material. Perhaps I should put that on hold until I am below 200 pounds. I think it was the social aspect of running that appealled to me.
I barely slept last night and feel my sanity and strength will be tested to its limits in the coming days. My husband makes time for everyone but me. He insists I “be patient and wait and see” but I think he is just stringing me on. If he ever loved me, he would not treat me this way. I need to move on. Sadly, with tears, I am now going to remove my wedding ring.
There. It’s done. I’m so incredibly sad.
Somehow I’ll get through today and then tomorrow I’ll wake up and go swimming again. I’ll do my best to convince myself that I’ll be okay. That when I get myself together I’ll find someone who appreciates and loves me. I have so much love to give.
To all people who are suffering but are still taking steps to better health, I applaud you. It’s not easy.
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