Progress and Reality Checks

This morning was another hard morning as far as anxiety goes, but I knew that swimming could only help my mood so I dragged my butt to the pool.

This was my 5th day in a row of swimming and I plan to go tomorrow and then take Sunday off since the pool is closed. I really increased my laps this week and my body is tired, but I also feel great. My belt is on the last notch! (Granted, it is a huge belt.)

In a perfect world I’d be swimming three to four times a week and doing something else three to four times a week, but at this time all I can manage is getting to the pool.

In the ten or so weeks that I’ve been religiously going to the pool I have challenged myself more every week. I didn’t think I’d be able to do a single lap, and that first one was hard, but now I swim for an hour plus I do other water exercises afterwards.

If you’d asked me 9 weeks ago if I thought I’d be swimming laps for an hour in about two months time, I would not have believed you. Not only that, but today I began consciously swimming harder, and hence faster, every several laps. I know I will keep challenging myself, my first goal was to last an hour, the second part of the goal was to get faster. I can do this.

I am closing in on a 40 pound weight loss and because I feel terrific, I think I must look terrific and then I have a reality check: Yesterday I went bathing suit shopping.

I went to Big 5 to try on some suits so that I could have a better idea of my suit size if/when I order my suit online. The largest sizes they had were 36 and 38 and so I took the 38 to the fitting room. My last suit says “18” so I didn’t know how that translated to in bust measurements.

Well, (go ahead and laugh) I did not even want to pull those suits up past my knees because I knew I’d ruin them. I am still way too big to be considered by Big 5, I guess. Even when I looked at their running and yoga clothing, they had an incredibly small amount of items marked “XL”.

In fact there was a round of bra top/running top thingys in a myriad of colors and guess what? In XL your color choices were black and white. Can you believe that? My god. I find this absurd.

So, even though my suit is literally decaying (it now says “Spee” rather than “Speedo”), I will postpone buying a new one as long as possible and then I’ll probably order a 42 or 44 from Swim Outlet. There are only two proper Speedo suits in that size. They have plenty of plus size suits, but not for the type of swimming I do. I need a suit built for doing laps, not one with a skirt and frou-frou.

My doctor sent me to a specialist for my dry eye complaint. I saw him today and he said that my eyes are otherwise healthy so it’s probably from all the chlorine exposure. I then purchased several types of drops to see what works.

I saw my husband today and sadly he is still not warming to me. I looked at him from across the table and said that I just couldn’t fathom him not loving me any more. I hate my naked ring finger and will probably put the ring back on.

Tomorrow I plan to talk about the versatility of the cross country ski movement that I do in the deep pool.

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on Twitter @movingliquid1


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