To my great relief I got an appointment with a counselor. Finally someone to share all this crap with since I can’t go into much detail here. I saw her today and feel so grateful for the support. It’s difficult white-knuckling it all on my own.
I’ve changed a great deal of my thinking and behavior, but I’m still a novice and I’m still human!
Speaking to her today I realized how much I’ve truly accomplished since October.
My husband and I fought today and we both hung up once on each other. Now the battle is over money, non existent money in the form of a lawsuit.
I won’t bore you with the details, but you need to know this: when I met him I owned a home (free and clear), I had savings, 401k, and a really high credit score.
Now, seven years later I don’t have anything except a huge amount of debt.
He only worked now and then totaling a few months of employment. At times he was able to help contribute to our living expenses, but mostly he did not.
If this lawsuit pays off, I deserve half of it. I just don’t know how to make sure that happens. I really hate this part.
Swimming was fantastic today. I can really tell I’m becoming stronger. I am thrilled that I discovered the dolphin kick and have incorporated it into my swimming set (on my back). It is a real ab burner!
I will pat myself on the back by saying that every single week I have challenged myself in the pool to work harder or stay in longer or both.
It’s difficult to explain how grateful I am for the amazing swimming facility my community has. I can say without hesitation that it has saved my life.