Website/Internet issues not yet worked out. I’m depressed, but not as fatal as last night. Took an ativan to help me relax enough to sleep. Will no doubt spend the entire day trying to fix my internet issues.
I hate that I had to see first hand that my husband can’t be bothered to help me. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you, but at least in an IT capacity, he was always able to fix problems. He knows I can’t do it. He’s the one who helped me bring the website back up. He knows this is totally out of my ability to fix on my own. Still, I am determined today not to ask for his help at all. And it may take days, but I’ll get to the bottom of it eventually. It’s just such a shame because people don’t understand why you’re not updating your website.
Today I weighed 202. Almost a three pound loss from last week. I was pretty certain it would be two pounds because I had really upped my efforts. Don’t know if I could possibly lose another three pounds this coming week, but it’d be kind of nice to get to the 199 point and get that milestone behind me. I don’t imagine three pounds a week is all that healthy though. Or, maybe it’s okay considering how big I still am. At any rate, I feel fine physically and I did workout very hard in the pool Mon. through Friday.
Didn’t do any exercise yesterday due to my website issues. The pool is closed on Sundays, but I had planned to do my walking this weekend. Lost the chance yesterday, but will find the time to do it today no matter what.
On Friday night I tried to do some more research into whether it’s possible for people to maintain weight loss. Most experts report that less than 20% of people who have lost significant amounts of weight, can keep it off for more than a year or two. (I am referring to people who lost weight w/o bariatric surgery, btw).
They are not sure why. It’s not just a matter of, well, they threw the diet aside and ate everything. It’s more complex. Some researchers think it’s hormonal. As though the body wants to return to the fat state and so it makes you more hungry to get you there. That’s some messed up wiring, isn’t it?
I went to a website affiliated with the National Weight Control Registry. You can join NWCR if you’ve lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off at least a year. They document your progress after that and members can support one another. My summation:
The bottom line is: to maintain the weight loss one must keep exercising A LOT and keep dieting. Oh, and keep weighing yourself OFTEN so you can reverse small weight gains as they occur. If you do not, you will gain it all back. Period.
Just what I suspected. So, okay, fine. I’ll be on a diet the rest of my life. That won’t be fun or easy. But I refuse to let the weight come back on. They said men actually keep weight off more often than women do. They said if you reach the five year mark your chances of success are much greater.
The truth is I didn’t really learn anything. It just confirmed what I suspected. It’s just very disheartening! I suppose I’m somewhat glad that I’m doing the research now and preparing myself. This journey will never end. I will never be a naturally skinny person. I will always have to eat light.
Fuck you, fat.
Starting weight: 267 (mid October 2013)
Today’s weight: 202
Total weight loss to date: 65 pounds
Goal weight: about 150 (about 52 pounds to go)