I’ve spent a good part of the last month working on a video to honor my dad’s 80th birthday and my parent’s 60th wedding anniversary.
They were divorced for a few years in there, but I decided not to include that part.
The video is done and it’s good, but naturally it’s not exactly what I had envisioned. It taxed my computer skills and I was limited in the photos I could use because virtually all of mine are in storage. Thankfully I had scanned quite a few of them a few years ago.
Some of the nieces and nephews are under represented but I did the best I could. I asked my siblings for help, and my brother sent a couple and my sister sent nothing. When I told her I had hardly any photos of one of her sons she said, she had no photographs where he doesn’t look like a heroin addict, which he is.
Hell, she had five kids and I only had one, so at times it feels it’s a video about her family!
I showed it to my parents for the first time last night before it showed up on YouTube, and my mom immediately began to cry. When it was over they both stood and hugged me. In my family, although we are far from perfect, this is the perfect gift.
A video can make my family look perfect and appear always happy, when of course we weren’t, but you know what? It was good. And people meant well. And no one was an asshole. We all did the best we could, including my very young parents. We always supported one another; we were always there for each other.
Some could accuse me of just portraying the good stuff, but hey, how many of us grab our camera when the bad shit is going down? And why do we need to relive that anyway?
I’m going to include the video here for the heck of it. The are no photos of me in it past the age about 32. A few photos exist, but they’re horrible. I’m the creator (and often the photographer), I can leave myself out if I want to. I even left two of my four husbands completely out of it. Again, my prerogative.
It’s hard to feel like you have wrapped up your parent’s lives in a 15 minute video, so please know that is certainly not the case. This video is a mere snapshot. But I think you can see the love there, especially in all the many photos of my dad hugging his grandkids through the years.
I know it makes him really sad that we don’t have enough family nearby. I wish we all lived near one another again. I wish we were meeting at parks and having birthday picnics and Christmas dinners. I wish we had not spread out all over the world.
That’s one thing I plan to fix, when I get my life in order, to help bring some more of the family to Oregon.
I know that my husband would be insulted that I’ve left him out entirely and he’ll never see the vid anyway. But he never did get how close I am to my family and he never will.
He sent me a somewhat cryptic text message on Sunday asking where I was. Then today he sent another saying “You never check in anymore.” And so I “checked in” with him via text and asked if there was anything new with the case. There wasn’t, so we said goodbye. Weird.
I’d like to check in with him all the time. I’d like to spend hours on the phone with him. BUT I CANT DO THAT BECAUSE WE ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER BECAUSE HE DECIDED ANOTHER WOMAN’S VAGINA WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAT ME. Fuck. Sigh. Yes, I still want him. Still waiting for that to wear off. And it will, someday.
I don’t expect anybody who stops in and checks out this blog to actually spend 15 minutes looking at a video of a stranger’s life, but if you watch the first minute or so, you’ll get the picture.