I’ve been applying for jobs, as you know. I’ve taken off the years (from my resume) that I graduated from various schools because I didn’t want to be rejected solely due to my age.
Today I got a call for an interview, the first interview after applying for maybe 20 jobs in six months. I know that’s not a lot, but I’ve tried to hold out for one I’m qualified for that would pay halfway decently.
Anyway, at first I was excited. I went to get my hair trimmed. I went and bought a charcoal blazer to wear over my black dress that I wear whenever I need to look professional.
And tonight I started to read up on the industry and re-read the job description. And the fact is, I don’t want this fucking job.
If the wage is halfway decent I will take it if they offer it to me It has to be halfway decent because I want to move from my parents home. And they probably will not offer it to me anyway. I just hate the industry — it’s all about buying shit and materialism and fashion and those things are sort of nice in moderation, but I’d think a career in it would be soul sucking.
It’s my fault for applying for the job. I think I’ll look at this interview as interview practice just in case I get another call for a job I like more. Yes, that’s what I’ll do.
It’s almost 1 a.m. but because I’m nervous I haven’t gone to bed yet. The interview is at 11 a.m. so no swimming in the morning, but perhaps afterwards I can go. I’ll pack my Speedo backpack just in case.
But I got word from the UK about what it would cost to manufacture the thing I want manufactured and it’s amazingly affordable, even with shipping. So then I registered with the local small business development center to help me figure out what to do first. But there’s no way I can do any of it if I’m working M-F 8a-5p.
I won’t mourn that yet. After all I don’t even have the job. But I was really looking forward to trying this business thing on a small scale and seeing if I actually could grow it. Businesses have been started for less!
I took two benadryl and one ativan and now I’m fading. Time to get to bed.