I’m so incredibly grateful to the people who read my blog, whether all the time or just occasionally. I’m very honored to have your concern and support. This blog and the people who read it, along with the pool, and Chump Lady website, were my salvation this year.
I spent about three hours in Macy’s today just walking in circles. Trying things on. Changing my mind. Becoming exhausted. I ended up finding their suit department. I didn’t know it existed because I never needed one before. I bought a royal blue blazer, a black pleated knee length skirt, and a sort of lacy white blouse to soften the look. Took me three hours to do that. And $150.
Funny enough, I have had about that much in eBay sales in the last few weeks so yay.
Some good news is that not one of the pieces of clothing came from the “Women’s” department. I ventured into parts of Macy’s that I only looked at from afar all these years. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wear 90% of what the rest of the store offers. The stuff I bought today was size 16 and snug. But the 18s looked wrong. So I decided to eat light in hopes they’ll fit better in a couple of days.
I got so discouraged at one point, with my indecision, and the horrible lighting in the dressing room (why does my hair look green there?) that I thought of the phrase, “Trying to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.” And yeah, I felt like a sow’s ear.
Nevertheless I bought the suit that I hope will help me get the job and I hope I can soon buy ten of everything so that they all mix and match and I don’t have to shop like that any more. I mean it’s fun to buy a purse or shoes, but clothing, not so much — to me it’s more of a chore. (It would probably not be a chore if I were a size ten).
I can see how trying on nice clothing might really help me lose some more weight. God knows I need to. Just because I feel good and have a lot of energy, doesn’t mean I’m skinny. Far from it. I haven’t weighed in a couple of months, but I’ll bet I’m at 205 or so.
In the coming weeks I’ll begin to weigh again. And I’ll take pains to bring a healthy lunch most days. And I’ll walk and walk and walk that mall whenever they’ll let me out of the office. Sitting, we all know by now, is terrible for our health.
I feel a bit like a fraud in those nice clothes, but I figure I can get used to it if given the opportunity. But I read somewhere that you should dress for the job you want, so I decided I would always take pains to look my best.
I hope to get up tomorrow, shower, and go to church. I’ve been saying it for weeks, but I think tomorrow’s the day. I’m facing all these changes, why not see how it feels to be there? We’ll see. The service I like is at 11 or 11:30 so it’s not like I have to get up early for it. I hope I go.
Oh, and I went to my “Leave a Cheater” Meetup group online and announced that I would not be the organizer any longer. I asked if anyone wanted the position. If no one does I’ll just dissolve the group. It just wasn’t working with only three or four of us. But I guess I’m glad there aren’t that many suffering “chumps” in our community. And I’m glad I did it.
I’m worried about my husband but too annoyed by him to contact him. I have no idea what he’s up to, I pray he hasn’t murdered anyone and hasn’t taken off with all the money. In other words, the same old shit. I will say this, he is really fucking hating this town and the “hicks” in it. I know that if he has anyway to do so, he’ll get the fuck out of here. I hope so. I really do. Time for him to move on.
Time for me to move on. I don’t want him to occupy my brain any longer.
Took me long enough to get here, didn’t it?