I met with an attorney today for a free consultation. He was a friend of someone who works at the kids center where I volunteer, otherwise even the consultation would have cost me.
He was a nice guy and the bottom line is this: we have no assets to divide except this mythical case. There’s no point in selling the last of my jewelry to retain him or anyone else. I told him how my STBX and I discussed (just this a.m.) having an agreement notarized and submitting it as an exhibit in our dissolution of marriage paperwork with the court. He thought this is pretty much all I can do.
He said if his mom or friends are giving him money to live on that they’d be considered gifts and I could not touch them anyway. He said theoretically he could be asking me for support! Hah. Oh my god.
He said the agreement I had with my husband that his lawyer had been holding isn’t worth the paper it was written on because his lawyer is not my lawyer. He does not have my interests at heart. I knew that. I was just trying to have a little faith in my STBX since I could not afford to hire my own attorney.
He did look up that the current case is not closed and he did say that is odd, given that the court date was over a month ago. He can’t know anything other than that, but it was good to know it didn’t show it as closed and finalized.
He said something about deciding whether it’s time to move on with my life without him in it and that’s where my head is right now. It’s time.
I’ve written up a new contract and emailed it to my STBX. He and I will go back and forth about it a few times and then we’ll go to the courthouse and file it with our dissolution of marriage paperwork. When that happens I will do everything I can to release this issue to the universe.
I can’t depend on one penny of it coming to me. I must move on with my life. If I end up getting ten grand in a year, well, that’ll be great. Fifty grand? Even better.
I’m sort of enjoying my eBay business but it’s just not adding up to anything. Also I still buy stuff that doesn’t sell far too often. Yesterday I spent an hour at my storage unit trying to go through some bins. I ended up taking three bags of charity shop stuff back to the charity shop because I know by now that certain things are not worth the effort.
Then I filled a bin to overflowing with good charity shop stuff and just my own personal things and lugged that back home. I’m going to try to list them online in the next few days. I’m desperate to make money to go visit my daughter next week, and to give her a little money for Christmas.
There are other issues with my eBay business as well, like how I’m spending far too much money on shipping and also I let people bargain me down too far. Gah. I wish I could be selling something unique, something easy to ship, as I had planned months ago.
But I can’t work on eBay tomorrow because I have to report for jury duty at 8:30 a.m. Pretty funny considering, isn’t it? I don’t mind. It’s usually just dull and a waste of time because jury trials get settled before they take place.
I just got a call from the priest at the church I went to. I’ve arranged to meet with him in his office next week. Later that day I meet with my therapist. I will be telling both of them that I need to and want to begin to let go of all this stuff.
As the attorney told me today, if he wants to screw me over he probably can screw me over especially because he could take off to the UK. I may not have faith in my husband, but I would like to have faith that whatever happens with this lawsuit, I’ll be okay in the end.
I’ve been looking at want ads, as usual, but I will increase the hunt. I don’t want to work full time because I’m still not certain I can handle it, but if that’s my only option, I will. However, I will be picky about where I apply since I can’t afford to have a nervous breakdown on the job, now can I?
Speaking with my husband today I restated that I just can’t imagine why, after working fairly well together before the trial, he suddenly had to go and get so dishonest with me. He actually started to lie again. I interrupted him and said, “Stop. Just stop there. Stop lying.” And he did.
I realized I wanted to get off the phone quicker than he did. He’s too overpowering and too intense. He’s just too much.
I want this to be over. I want him to go away. But in the meantime I will begin again to pick up the pieces.