Not Resolutions, But Plans to Get on With Life

Happy New Year!

I have to admit I’m filled with optimism about the year ahead. I have many things I want to get started on, not because of New Year’s resolutions, but just because it was too difficult to start them during the holidays.

I’ll spend more time job hunting — but I will only apply for jobs I think I can seriously commit to.

It’s probably been three months since I’ve swam. I love the water but I believe it has seriously messed up my ears and sinuses and I’m only now starting to feel on the mend. I will, for now, sign up at the fitness center and commit to a routine of going there. It’s hard, because I like to say to the kids center that I’m available anytime, but I will have to go back to afternoons so that I can have the mornings for fitness.

I’d like to take a class on Adobe Illustrator but I can’t afford it. I will try to teach myself using YouTube videos.

For the last several weeks I stop into Michaels (the craft store) and use their weekly coupons to buy one tube of acrylic paint at 50% off. It’s a slow way to build up my paint supply, but it’s by far the cheapest way. I gave away thousands of dollars of art supplies the last time we moved to London. Sigh. I have some intriguing ideas about what I want to paint. I hope to start that in the coming weeks.

I’m gaining weight, still, but I can’t be too hard on myself — I’m trying so hard to LIKE myself that I can’t give myself such a hard time on the weight right now. But I’ve decided that I will make a real effort to eating healthier foods. I’m not saying I’m on a diet, because I’m not. I’m simply adding healthier foods back into my diet, which hopefully will make me more full and thereby eat less junk.

I have fully realized that the way I eat, particularly at night, is as though food is a drug. I’m going to go about solving this issue by looking at it as an addiction, adding healthier foods back into my diet, and praying about it.

When I get a job I’ll save for a few months and then I’ll begin apartment hunting. I’m ready to have my own place finally. I feel strong enough and am in fact excited about it.

If some money comes my way due to my husband’s lawsuit, I’ll decide what to do with it then. I will not waste another minute being in limbo waiting for it.

I plan to have an answer in the next couple of weeks about whether I can help sponsor my STBX’s daughters or not. If so, I want to get on with it. If not, I want to begin divorce asap.

I will be divorced in 2015. I will get a job. I will find my own apartment. I will continue to go to church. I will eat healthier.

Maybe, if I can afford it, a dog will be in my future too!

Thanks again to all who read this odd blog or comment on it. Your support has meant a great deal to me. I’ve always written a private journal and this is the only one I’ve ever made public. It’s an odd thing to do, but it has really benefitted me, thank you.

Oh, STBX messaged me last night at 12:01 a.m., “Happy 2015” and I did not respond at all.


9 responses to “Not Resolutions, But Plans to Get on With Life

  1. Those are nice goals for 2015 and you will do it. I used to weigh 300 lbs and the word diet is a bad word and never works in my opinion. Your attitude about it is correct. Don’t make it a diet, make it a way of living. Eat healthy and lower calories every day that you can but don’t forget to eat the way you love. Never eat in a way that you can’t live. I’m a foodie and social eater so If I can’t have good things, I won’t be able to stay with it. I do count calories daily. Good luck to you in 2015. I believe this will be a good year for you. P.S. My dogs make me happy in a way that no human can possibly. 🙂

  2. It’s so nice to hear your optimism! What really helps me is to know who I want to be, how I want to live my life. I keep that image in my head and I keep picking away at changing myself to match that image. These changes don’t happen overnight and I have to be patient. This goes for everything including weight loss and fitness and healthy eating. I ate so bad over the holidays that I woke up one day and was so pissed at myself, I finally stopped the nonsense, instead of just saying I should. But I’m not going to beat myself up, just view it as a work in progress.

  3. Hi, Cynthia, yes, beating ourselves up over it does not help! Knowing who you want to be and how you want to live is really a wondrous journey. I want to be on that journey and for it to never end. xox Happy New Year.

  4. ML: Woot! Awesome goals. You can definitely teach yourself how to use Adobe Illustrator, by the way. I’ve found the Visual Quickstart Guides from PeachPit Press very helpful in the past when learning a new program.

    I’m glad you’re approaching your goals with such a positive mental attitude. It’s not about being perfect — just moving forward, which you most definitely are. 🙂

  5. NFTBF, I really am moving forward — I’m pretty confident I am! I had that horrible setback, but now I’m back to where I was before, or even stronger. I’ll check out the Guides from PeachPit Press, thanks. Have a very Happy New Year! xox

  6. Kudos to you for those positive goals and I know that you will get it done. We’re super proud of you, and thank you so much for sharing. Hugs…

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