Day one of Lent.
Yesterday I met with the assistant priest and told him I was overwhelmed with trying to do this Lent thing right and he calmly told me there is no right or wrong way to experience Lent. We talked about my ideas for what I thought I should give up or add and I decided to not go into convenient stores for treats, if I want them I have to make them; In general to try not to overeat and be mindful when I am eating; Not to worry about formal prayer, but to make prayer part of my entire day. And to get out and move, weather permitting.
I took off the idea of staying out of the charity shops — I have no social life whatsoever and going to them is what I do. I have nothing to replace it with. I just must be more careful in what I buy.
And the best news is I got an email and the place where I have applied has asked for a phone interview on Monday afternoon. I am elated. I know it’ll be hard to get this job, but at least they are intrigued enough to want to interview me. No doubt there will be face to face interviews if I make the cut. I really, really want to make the cut. If I could tell them that they will not believe what they will get when they hire me — they would hire me on the spot. Bless his heart, tonight on the way out of the Ash Wednesday service the assistant priest told me if I needed to talk to him before the interview to let him know.
Sitting with him yesterday was so wonderful. I like him so, so much. He gets me, he has also had a heartbreaking experience with a narcissistic cheater. He very quickly got me to lighten up about Lent and being a perfect Episcopalian since there is no such thing.
They had four Ash Wednesday services today, oh plus one in Spanish, and I wasn’t sure what it would be like. It’s now a somber time of year — they’ve covered all the crosses and they will not say “alleluia” until Palm Sunday (I think). The choir was there so I was grateful for that, but no sermon today. I came home at 8:30 p.m. from the service and said to my parents, “I’ve been ashed.” And my mom said, “Oh my gosh, they really give you a lot, don’t they? It’s usually just a little smudge.”
I almost said, “Mom, these guys are nearly Catholics, what do you expect!” But didn’t. I washed it off because I think it would make my mom uncomfortable. If I were on my own I would have kept it on until bedtime.
I really hope my sister manages to move out here. She likes the same type of church (more or less) that my mom does, ie., modern music, etc. Maybe they can go together. I know my mom wants to go, but she won’t go alone. A couple of years ago I took her to what was to become my church and she wasn’t into the standing, sitting, kneeling, whereas I like it. It’s all good. Whatever speaks to you is the right way.
I don’t know what the next 40 days have in store for me but for the moment I am feeling very peaceful and mindful. It’s a great relief from the anxiety, jealousy, and hatred I often feel about my husband and his Hen.
I’m very, very nervous about my telephone interview and will do a lot of preparation for it. The good news is I have a nice voice, I speak clearly, and sound younger than I am, so perhaps that will help me get in for a face to face interview. Now I just have to work on sounding smart and useful.
I’m grateful for anybody stopping by to read this.