I Jumped the Gun, of Course

Well, I got an email from our attorney today stating that my ex-husband  and I are not in agreement about how to divide the proceeds of the lawsuits.

I should not be surprised, but I am.

He explained under what circumstances he could keep representing both of us, and under which circumstances he could not. Basically if I agree to let my ex keep all of his settlement, the attorney can represent me with my much smaller one.

I wrote back to the attorney and told him this was a dark day for me and I was deeply disappointed. I told him I hoped my ex would change his mind in the next few days and come back to the 50/50 agreement, but that he was no longer communicating with me.

I told him I would accept no less than 50/50% and would look forward to hearing from him.

Happy weekend, right?

I’m so down, and I explained it to my mom she says I should count my losses and just let him have his lawsuit and me have mine (they are vastly different in size). I said, no. I won’t let him fuck me over again.

She kept going on and on and I was getting really upset and finally had to walk away from her.

I’d rather attorneys be the only ones who benefit from these lawsuits than let him fuck me over one more time.

So please, don’t YOU tell me to give up and give in to him again because I won’t. I’m going to fight this as long as I can afford to without it affecting my own savings.

Jesus, I’m down.

Let it go, but fight it. Let it go, but fight it. Let it go, but fight it.


7 responses to “I Jumped the Gun, of Course

  1. I won’t tell your to back down. I think you are in the right, and he is a terrible man who takes you for granted. He assumes you will back down because you always have. Now he will think you’re mean because you’re finally understanding that you have value, and it doesn’t all belong to him. And he owes you allllllll your losses, and you’re willing to settle on sharing his lawsuit. Because that’s what was agreed on and that’s called scruples. He’s a dickbag, and you might eventually decide it’s not worth it. Right now if you keep pushing and he gives in, you win. When or if things change and you’re happy in everything you have around you aside from this, you don’t feel like part of your integrity is tied to this, you might decide differently- it’s a lot like your moving liquid name- it’s the situation in the now- you’re willing to fight. Tomorrow, down the road, it may be time to just let it go, but that’s down the stream still. So fight. You’re amazing.

  2. I see it exactly as you do, Alex. I also agree that I will fight this so long as it doesn’t make me depressed day after day as this is being resolved.

    Yesterday I texted him and wrote, “Do you know how long this money will be tied up while we haggle over it?” He responded that he hadn’t made up his mind yet about the 50/50. I said, “What? The attorney said we disagreed.” He said he’d let me know on Monday and I just wrote, “Okay.”

    I realized this is just more drama from him, which is what his entire life is about. I am so glad that he is on the way to becoming just a shadow — a part of my past. I can clearly see my future without him in it and it’s wonderful.

    Thank you, Alex, for your words of encouragement.

  3. Ok so I’m gonna brighten your day by exposing you to the comedy my life is today: Here’s my day so far: airport security made me put my passport in the X-ray machine and then I missed my flight because it ate it.(got pushed out of the bin and didn’t come out the other end) So my checked bag is going to x, there’s no way to get my car out of 3 day parking here in hometown, my bag won’t be back before my new direct flight to other city, there’s a marathon on my street even if I was able to get a cab back there to pick ups clothes it would take forever to get in and out. It took 2 hours for the X-ray machine to expunge my passport (which people didn’t believe when I said that’s where it was so they wouldn’t check) so I spent two hours basically a big ass mess because it is literally 5 days old, since it was recently stolen. I decided not to carry on my big duffle, because it’s so big and I didn’t want to be sore. So I packed a change of clothes in my carry on… In case my checked bag got lost. Which is kind of what happened since it’s going to come back to hometown when I don’t pick it up in x. But now when I look in my carry on I have a shirt, a sweater, and nylons. Where did I put the skirt? Wtf pull it together Alex… I’m apparently heading to 24 hour discount department store as soon as I get to my hotel so I don’t show up in track pants and a hoodie…

  4. Oh, Alex, that leaves me speechless! I mean, one thing after another! Are you traveling for business? Was your passport in good enough shape after it was finally spat out? I can’t wait to hear the rest of this adventure!

  5. On Monday my ex sent me a copy of an email he sent to our attorney stating after considering his options he agrees to the 50/50 split. Then he wrote to me privately and told me to stop sending him “long emails” but to pick up the phone and call him when I needed to because it’s “polite.” I didn’t respond at all, but if I did it would be to say that my emails aren’t long, and he has no idea of the meaning of “polite.” (How about keeping your word in the first place, asshole.) So things should be settled now, but I am fully prepared for him to eff it up again.

  6. Winning! You’re winning! Good job! No, great job!

    Passport was not damaged at all. It was just too light and weirdly stuck in some way in the machine so it didn’t come out for hours. So thank god that is all good.

    I am away on business, returning to hometown tonight. I ended up with some ok clothes, an Aztec print mini dress that passes for appropriate because I’m short, an Aztec hi-low skirt because it was less ugly than others, and a few tops and a cardigan… Not as nice as my normal clothes, and I couldn’t try them on because the changerooms are locked late night… But I have survived and most people thought I might look eccentric, but not terrible. I’m so excited to go home. Also…. Hurray you win win win win! (This battle at least)

    • Well, in a way your impromptu clothes shopping experience gave you an opportunity to wear something a little different — no harm no fowl. Have a safe flight home! xox

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