Week One: I’m Tired but Motivated

It’s been a good first week of better health habits, activity, and sleeping. I tried hard, walked on three of my five lunch hours at work. Went to water aerobics three times in the evenings. And today I was at church serving breakfast to 300 homeless at 8 a.m. then came home for an hour and then went back again to serve homeless families a taco feast and got home at 7:45pm. I put 8,000+ steps on my Fitbit today with all that activity. Ten thousand is the daily “goal” set by somebody but I’ve only done that once so far.

The only thing I wish right now is that my parents had a bathtub instead of a shower. Soaking would sure feel good right now.

Two of my co-workers came to help at the church this evening and I felt really blessed that they like me enough to do something like that.

Okay the only other thing I wanted to do was come home and watch part 2 of the premiere of the new season of Doctor Who, but my parents stopped it recording. IT’S THE ONLY DAMNED SHOW I WATCH, PEOPLE! Thank God it’s on again at 9 pm, but I will be too tired to enjoy it by then.


I was going to cook my beans for tonight here at my parent’s house, but my mom made it clear in her extremely passive aggressive way that she did not want me cooking beans in her kitchen. So I lugged it to church and got there at 2:30 instead of 4pm. She’s such a piece of work.

I had some crap news in the last two days about money and I was starting to let it get to me, but after preparing, serving, and cleaning up after the dinner tonight I drove home looking at the most beautiful full moon and I felt peace inside. It helps to utterly exhaust yourself.

I weighed yesterday and the scale said I lost four pounds. That’s probably not very accurate. At the doctor’s office I had on more clothes, so it’s probably closer to three, at best. But it’s a start.

The Fitbit does encourage me and also my doctor said I can come in for free weighing and blood pressure checks so I’m doing that in a month, which is motivating. I don’t know how often they’ll let me come in and do that, but it all helps with accountability.

Losing the kind of weight I need to lose is a long process, in fact it never ends because if you end it, you gain it back (well, I do). Even if I manage to lose two pounds a week for the next 12 weeks before Christmas, that’s only 24 pounds.

But that 24 pounds will allow me to wear a lot more clothes than I’m able to wear now, which will save me money. I may try to make my goal to be at least 25 lbs lighter by then, surely I’m overweight enough for that to be doable. It’s not as easy when you’re near your goal weight, naturally.

For many months when I was working out and lost the 70 pounds I kept doing all this research on how to keep it off and over and over and over again I kept reading that it’s almost impossible to do. Fat is really an intrepid thing! Once you have it, it always wants to creep back on. Therefore you have to fight it every day, and really increase physical activity.

I’m seriously thinking of buying a bike. Perhaps I’ll start researching and buy it for myself for Christmas. We’ll see. It’s another thing I’ve done quite a bit of in my life so I think I’d enjoy it.

I was worried the water aerobics would be too easy, but I get there early and I stay late, and I work hard in the water, so I’m sure it’s benefitting me. And as a former Southern California girl who spent so much time in the water, I find it very healing.

With only one week under my belt I feel better (and a bit sore) and I feel good emotionally. Exercise is good for you, pure and simple. And I am one to get bored, so between walking, water aerobics, and possibly bike rides, I’ve got a pretty good variety to start with.

They gave me a key to the church today and I felt so honored! I cleaned up the church’s kitchen twice today and I do it lovingly because the place has given me so much. I’m grateful that tomorrow I can go into the chapel and feel closer to God.



11 responses to “Week One: I’m Tired but Motivated

  1. I’m so buzzed for you. This is amazing. 10k steps is a lot. Sometimes a goal is there to help you get at least somewhat done!

    I know it’s not the same as a bath, but after water aerobics can you use the hot tub? At least you would have a nice warm soak? I’m so so pleased that you got so much under your belt in one week. Keep it up! You are mighty.

  2. ML,
    Good for you! You can do it!
    I hear you in wanting a warm soak… although I have a tub in the house, I have a 300 gallon Rubbermaid stock tank in the yard. There “was” a submersible wood burning heater but that was stolen so I need to buy another one when the money frees up. You should check out the “Cowboy Hot Tub” website for amusement and ideas when you have your own yard. I just loved sitting in mine on cold nights. It was even better in the snow… sorry for the side track, water is my fascination.
    It really seems like your life is filling up with positive things and I am happy for you.
    As far as your mom and cooking what you need to be healthy, that is a drag… I sure do know the frustration of not having my own kitchen and control of what is in there and the kind of foods cooked. But I am certain that both of us will have our own kitchens again where we can nourish our bodies and souls, just be patient.
    I have just come back from camping in Vermont and late tomorrow night, I am going down Maine for the art camp where I won the scholarship. This is the final hurrah before the down slide through the holidays and the new year, so I will be online again more this time next week to cheer you on with your new life.
    Peace and Love,

    • ENM, I can’t wait to hear about art camp and hope you post pictures. I’m sorry I’m late to respond, but I’ve been super busy with church and work and am exhausted. This week has not been a success eating-wise! But I’ve got to start to say no now and then because it’s getting in the way of my heathy activities. I am looking forward to having a proper catch up with you soon. xox

  3. It’s nice to hear you are taking steps toward living a healthier life. Exercise is my therapy and it’s what gets me through the tough things in life. I’m cheering you on, you can do this, one step at a time!

    • Thank you, Cynthia. I ALWAYS appreciate your support. It’s been a while since I’ve looked to see if you’re blogging again, but what’s most important is if you are active and happy. I know that swimming is half of what got me through that horrible first year, so I hear you about exercise as therapy. I’m not sure I would have survived that year without it. Any 5Ks coming up? xox

  4. I am gonna be your motivated also getting healthy sidekick. How awesome is it that while spackling I also just found fidelity blogs and CL a beautiful realm of good people? So that when reality hits me right in the face (like a pair of underwear that’s not mine in my mans pocket) I actually know what I need to do and what my healthy buddies will mean to me in the next year of shit sandwich…… ML, move over on the chump couch. We have more to chat about than I first thought. Please post again soon. I hope things are going well.

    • Sorry I took so long to respond, Alex. I’m so very sorry to hear your news. How are you holding up? I’ve made plenty of room for you to be comfy on the chump couch. xox

  5. ML
    No worries! Stuff here is fine. The beauty of this is I have already heard and learned all the ways to proceed. I’m not going to get caught up in false rec., and I don’t pull the cord until I have my ducks in a row. I know that there will be tears and stuff later but right now I am in work mode- dispel my personal myths about things that matter, try to get my head really prepped for fallout. I expect there will be a lot of attempts to gaslight, to negotiate, blame shift. But not until I pull the cord. Until then I live in what looks like an amazing marriage, husband is sweet and caring and we have an upcoming pile of family events which will occur and a vacation which is booked and paid for and again, has an important friend event. I will not make my moves until that’s all behind us. Because I’m not ruining all this stuff for a blowout which will actually not serve me. Waiting until this is over- I have a good trip where I say goodbye to the wonderful Jekyll that I know and love and mentally prepare for the onslaught of Hyde I will have to deal with until I am finally disentangled. Thankful I don’t have kids. Thankful I stopped spackling. Thankful I have bloggers like you to build a good path. Thankful we don’t have a ton of assets to divide. Unsure of if its worth using a lawyer or just doing a quick 300 dollar package to the courthouse. I feel like I have lost a good chunk of life to this. But I still have a lot left! There’s plenty of room for growth.

  6. Alex, I am sending you positive energy. You seem to be pretty organized and practical about what needs to be done. I am sorry for your loss, but what I can add as a Chump working my recovery is that you will never EVER see things the same again… Best of luck, it will be hard, but you can do it!

  7. Thanks lovelies. yesterday was my birthday so I guess maybe I’m older and wiser or something.

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