I’m settling in to life. Work is fine. It’s usually quite interesting. There are only seven of us in the office and we get along well even though we need more office space. I enjoy/admire some more than others, but that’s normal.
Since I found out I can’t buy a home until after next June when my bankruptcy will be two years old so I decided to invest in a better mattress for this daybed I sleep in in my parent’s spare bedroom. I’ll leave it here when I go, naturally. It’s firm, which I like, but I am still adjusting to it. The other mattress was soft and lumpy.
One tooth fixed, three or four more to go. I won’t be saving anything in the next several months as this dental work is very expensive. The dental coverage at work is not so great. The good news is that I am lucky enough to get it done; I love my dentist; and I am not in pain like I was a few weeks ago. My own sister’s teeth are so bad she can only eat soft foods. I am fortunate, indeed.
I’m not sure why I did it, but after all this time (since Lent) I snooped on one of my ex’s many email accounts. I felt bad about it since we’re now divorced but there was nothing there really. He must have figured out I was looking at it because there was only junk there. Funny that he just didn’t change the password! But through internet searches I saw that he’s planning to import some stuff from China to re-sell in the USA.
He’s bought the internet domain name but there’s only a “coming soon” on it. He bought the internet name in July. No wonder he decided last month that I was no longer worth sharing with — he needs this money to start a business and his needs are greater than mine!
But I know him. I lived with him for eight years and dozens of “almost-businesses” that never happened. I’ve bought a dozen domain names that never became anything except the one I ran myself, a news website for kids that is now no longer online. Sad. I was so proud of it and worked very hard on it for over two years. But it was what it was because I ran it, not him.
There was nothing “juicy” on that email account to hit me like a sledge hammer as it did last year since it appears not to be used much any more. But there were emails from Anthropologie showing all these favorited clothes for woman. Pretty, feminine things that I would have liked if I were young, slim, and had that kind of budget. So that did make me sad. He’s still with his affair partner. Only now, after almost two years, they’re just a couple — no longer affair partners.
I can’t even get any satisfaction that she’s wised up and left him. No. He’s no doubt still love-bombing and charming her even though he doesn’t have a dime. Oh, and he’s still answering Craigslist ads from other women, so yeah, he’s doing that.
Last time I spoke with him (well, texted) he said he had five days to vacate as his friend was evicting him. I wrote that he needs to look up tenant’s rights and sent him a link. What a chump I am. A letter to vacate is not the same as a court order. Baffling to me that this guy is still on his way to sponsoring his kids and becoming an American citizen. He can’t work because he can’t get hired. He can’t pay rent or utilities.
Several months ago I saw an anime bracelet I thought one of my step daughters would love (Harijuku Lovers charm bracelet by Gwen Stefani). I bought it to send it to her in London but then found out they had moved so I just held on to it. Earlier today I wrote to her and asked her if I could send it to her. I sent her a photo of it. And she wrote back, after no communication for over four months saying it didn’t suit her, but thanks for thinking of her.
God knows what he’s told her about me and my greediness to get my hands on HIS money. But I lost her long ago since he was introducing her to my replacement while my pillow was still warm. My replacement is younger, and not stressed at having lost everything she ever worked for.
So last week he did tell OUR attorney that our original deal, to split the proceeds of our two lawsuits 50/50 was back in place. Why? Because I told him that the money would be tied up for a long time while we bickered over it. He wrote to me to tell me and to demand that I stop sending him “long emails” and how it’s more polite to call instead.
First, I can’t recall the last time I sent him an email more than three sentences long, and secondly, a known liar, traitor, and betrayer has no business telling me how to be polite. I answered him with crickets. But I will continue to use email or text as our only communication because he makes verbal promises that he does not keep. I like having a record of his promises and I don’t like the sound of his voice.
After a super hot summer the weather is finally changing and it’s beginning to feel like Oregon again. I’m hesitant to say I am looking forward to Autumn because once the sun leaves us here, it can take a while to show up again. But frankly it’s a relief. Time moves on. And before I know it the holidays will be over and my countdown to buying my own place will be here.
There’s only one thing I wish — that I had someone in my life to share things with. Someone to take care of and to take care of me. I don’t know if that’s in my future, since i have no crystal ball.